Day 2 No Easy Path

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You may have seen video of the Hua Shan plank trail. Hikers must cling to the edge of a mountain as they walk along a janky plank that was probably put into place at the beginning of time. It’s a risky adventure that pushes the heart into overdrive.

The Bible tells us of another narrow path. It’s the path that leads to life and few find it. Matthew 7:13-14

But on this path, you’re taking a risk if you’re not struggling through to the end. Yes, it is a struggle. I’m not gonna sugar-coat the walk of faith, it can be uncomfortable. Today’s struggle for me is loving others when I want to give them the cold shoulder. Do unto them as they’ve done unto me.

I have a friend who when we are together, there’s a lot of shared chemistry and conversation. I would say they are one of my favorite people to be around, and I know for certain they appreciate me and think fondly of me as well. When we are apart, I think about this person often, and  want to reach out, but I’ve learned not to call or text because when we are apart there are no texts or calls in return.

Sometimes, days after I leave a phone call, this person may finally call back, but their heart isn’t in the conversation. They don’t want to engage in any friendship building. The person actually sounds annoyed to have me on the line. I don’t understand why this person shuts down our friendship when we are apart. It hurts to invest in someone who cares so little. So, today it is difficult to have caring feelings regardless of the care I receive in return. I’ve thought about how the next time I see this person, I’m going to nod and walk away instead of engaging in a conversation that makes them feel like a million bucks. I deserve a better friend. I do.

I don’t want to do the things I know I should. It’s hard to love someone who is unlovable at times. But, I must remember how unlovable I can be. Oh God, help me.

I’ll see this person in the next day or so, and I will probably feel a tinge of hurt that they didn’t care enough to tell me how their holiday was, or ask about mine, but I will also rewarm to our friendship and enjoy it for what it is at that moment.

Letting go of hurt is a good goal. Letting people be who they are without wondering what you’ve done that may have caused a cold response is a good goal. Loving without judgement is a great goal. That’s a narrow, janky path if ever there were one.

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